How to Disagree Without Being Divisive

How to Disagree Without Being Divisive

by | Aug 25, 2021 | Better communicator

Sorry, but lessons on The Blue Tree work only on a computer or a tablet.

Bardzo mi przykro, ale lekcje na platformie The Blue Tree działają jedynie na komputerze lub tablecie.

Do zobaczenia na większym ekranie 🙂

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How to Disagree Without Being Divisive
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THE BLUE TREE

Better
Communicator

CEF B1

CEFR B2

Upper
Intermediate

Practise speaking by describing this image

warm up

Answer the questions below. Then listen to the sample answers and report back on what you’ve heard.

Do you usually agree or disagree with your workmates?
TRANSCRIPT

I think it depends on the situation. Most of the time, I tend to agree with my workmates because we’re usually aligned on the same goals. But when I do disagree, I try to focus on the facts and the bigger picture. It’s not about being right, but about reaching the best outcome for everyone involved.

What’s your strategy for expressing opposing opinions?
TRANSCRIPT

My strategy when expressing a different opinion is to be respectful and open. I start by acknowledging the other person’s point of view before sharing mine. Something like, ‘I see where you’re coming from, but have you considered…’ That way, it doesn’t feel like I’m shutting them down, but rather opening up the conversation for both sides.

How can we help people see our point of view?
TRANSCRIPT

Helping people see your point of view can be tricky, but I think it’s all about listening and understanding first. If you show genuine interest in their perspective, they’ll be more open to hearing yours. Asking questions to explore their reasoning, and then presenting your ideas with evidence or examples, can bridge the gap between differing opinions.

LISTENING

Listen to the audio. What is the main message of this HBR Management Tip?

reading

Read the article below. Check the meaning of some difficult words by moving your mouse over them.

How to Disagree Without Being Divisive

Many of us try to avoid conversations with those who have a sharply different point of view, or we try to convince them that they’re wrong. Neither approach is very productive. It’s possible to have healthy disagreements by employing a few tactics. Start by acknowledging the other person’s perspective, whether you agree with it or not. Say something like, “I understand where you’re coming from,” or, “Thank you for sharing your position,” before you state your point of view. Also, demonstrate 1. humility. While confidence is important in making persuasive arguments, too much of it can be 2. abrasive and even offensive. And be sure to phrase your argument in positive terms. For instance, you could say something like, “Let’s consider the possible benefits of having fewer people working on the marketing initiative,” rather than “We shouldn’t have any more people working on the marketing initiative.” Finally, if things start to get heated, 3. reiterate areas of agreement — even if they’re small and obvious. Something simple, such as “We both want this pandemic to end,” or “We agree that social distancing is presenting 4. unprecedented challenges,” can reestablish common ground. These strategies can help loosen 5. gridlock, 6. animosity, and 7. resentment and open the door for connection.

This tip is adapted from “Disagreement Doesn’t Have to Be Divisive,” by Francesca Gino

pokora, skromność

szorstki, zgryźliwy, opryskliwy

powtarzać coś wielokrotnie (w celu podkreślenia znaczenia lub wyjaśnienia)
bezprecedensowy, niespotykany
zator, korek
niechęć, uraza
gniew, niechęć, frustracja

COMPREHENSION

Answer the questions below. Try to throw some of the newly learned words into your answers.

  • How do many people approach others who disagree with them?
  • Is it possible to disagree without being divisive?
  • How can we acknowledge other person’s perspective?
  • How can we demonstrate humility?
  • How can we phrase our arguments in positive terms?
  • What can we do if things get heated?
  • What are the possible advantages of employing these tactics?

POLL

Cast your vote in the poll.

Which tactic(s) for disagreeing productively do you find most practical?

CAST YOUR VOTE
×

STUDY SECTION

LANGUAGE OF AGREEMENT AND DISAGREEMENT

Study and learn these ways of agreeing, disagreeing and showing reservations.

AGREE

  • Yes, I agree completely.
  • I’d go along with that.
  • Yes, you have a point there.
  • That’s exactly how I feel.
  • I entirely agree with you.

DISAGREE

  • That’s out of the question.
  • I’m afraid, I can’t agree with that.
  • That’s not how I see this.
  • I couldn’t agree less.
  • I think it misses the point.

DOUBTS

  • I agree up to a point.
  • I agree to some extent.
  • I think that’s going a bit too far.
  • I don’t think it’s as simple as that.
  • You could be right but, …

SAMPLE DIALOGUES

Complete these dialogues with the words from the expressions above.

Complete these dialogues with the words for agreement, disagreement and showing doubts.

Dialogue 1

Anna: We need to finalise the presentation for tomorrow. I think we should simplify the data section so the board doesn’t get lost in details.
Mark: Yes, you have a there. A cleaner structure would definitely make our message stronger.
Anna: Great. So let’s remove two of the charts and keep only what really supports the recommendation.
Mark: Absolutely. That’s how I feel.

Dialogue 2

Julia: I’m thinking of signing up for yoga classes again. I’ve been feeling stiff and tired lately.
Marek: I entirely agree you. Some regular stretching would really help your energy levels.
Julia: Exactly. And it’s also a good way to disconnect from work.
Marek: Yes, I’d go with that. Let me know which group you choose.

Dialogue 3

Ewa: I believe we should delay the product launch by at least two months. The marketing team still isn’t ready.
Tomasz: I’m I can’t agree with that. A delay would hurt our sales targets for the entire quarter.
Ewa: But launching unfinished materials might damage our brand.
Tomasz: That’s not I see this. I think we can polish the campaign while the product goes live.

Dialogue 4

Adam: I’m telling you, we don’t need a guide for this mountain trail. It looks easy enough.
Ola: I couldn’t agree . The weather can change quickly, and we’re not familiar with the area.
Adam: Come on, it’s just a short walk.
Ola: That’s of the question. Safety first. Let’s hire a guide and avoid unnecessary risks.

Dialogue 5

Kasia: We should switch entirely to remote work. It would cut costs and boost productivity.
Paweł: I agree to a point, but I don’t think it’s as simple as that. Some teams really need face-to-face collaboration.
Kasia: Maybe a hybrid model, then?
Paweł: Yes, that could work. You could be , but we’d need clear guidelines to avoid confusion.

Dialogue 6

Marta: I’m thinking of adopting two dogs at once. They won’t feel lonely, and it will be more fun.
Piotr: I agree to extent, but I think that’s going a bit too . Two puppies mean twice the training and twice the cost.
Marta: True… I didn’t think about the workload.
Piotr: Maybe start with one and see how it goes?

COMMENTS

What do you think of the ideas presented in this HBR Management Tip?

Share your views and experience here.

How to talk about forgetting and remembering

How to talk about forgetting and remembering

by | Aug 24, 2021 | Everyday English

Sorry, but lessons on The Blue Tree work only on a computer or a tablet.

Bardzo mi przykro, ale lekcje na platformie The Blue Tree działają jedynie na komputerze lub tablecie.

Do zobaczenia na większym ekranie 🙂

Zespół The Blue Tree

Learn more words

THE BLUE TREE

Everyday English

CEF B1

CEFR B1

Intermediate

Practise speaking by describing this picture

warm up

Answer the questions below.

Do you think you have a good memory? Would you like to improve it?
TRANSCRIPT

I think my memory is quite good for faces and events, but terrible for names. Sometimes I meet someone and remember exactly where we met, but not their name! I’d love to improve my memory, especially for small details. I guess training it like a muscle — with reading, learning, and practice — could really help.

What is your strategy for remembering important information?
TRANSCRIPT

When I need to remember something important, I always write it down. I use notes on my phone or sticky notes on my desk. I also repeat things several times in my head. It may sound old-fashioned, but it works! If something is emotional or funny, I usually remember it without any effort.

What is your most pleasant memory?
TRANSCRIPT

My most pleasant memory is from a summer trip to the seaside with my family. We spent the whole day swimming and watching the sunset. I can still hear the sound of the waves and smell the sea air. It was a simple day, but it felt perfect. I like remembering moments like that when life gets stressful.

part one

READING

Ingrid arrives late for her appointment with Inspector Gordon. How does he get from her the information that he needs?

Read or role play this dialogue. Notice the language of remembering and forgetting.

Inspector:Ingrid. You’re late. Did you forget our appointment?
Ingrid:I’m sorry. It must have slipped my mind.
Inspector:OK, Ingrid. We want you to tell us where Biggs is hiding.
Ingrid:I’m sorry. I seem to be drawing a blank.
Inspector:I see. Maybe this will help refresh your memory.
The inspector gives Ingrid fifty dollars.
Ingrid:Come to think of it, I do seem to remember something about a bridge.
Inspector:Which bridge?
Ingrid:The name escapes me.
The inspector hands Ingrid another fifty dollars.
Hmm … it’s on the tip of my tongue.
He gives her a hundred dollars.
Oh. yes! The Bay Bridge.
Inspector:One last thing, Ingrid. Is there a shipment coming in tonight?
Ingrid:Now that you mention it, I think there is, but for the life of me I can’t remember at what time.
Inspector:Maybe you need a little inspiration.
He hands her fifty dollars.
Ingrid:Wait. It’s coming to me now.
He gives her a hundred dollars.
That’s right! There’s a shipment coming in at 11:30 tonight.
Inspector:Thanks. Ingrid. You’ve been a big help. Remind me to take you out to dinner sometime.
Ingrid:Your treat?

KEY LANGUAGE

Study the language for talking about forgetting and remembering.

SPOKEN EXAMPLES

Study and role play these short dialogues and notice how these people used expressions for remembering and forgetting.

Sara: Did you send the report to the client?
Tom: Oh no, it completely slipped my mind!
Sara: Seriously, Tom? That’s the third time this week.
Tom: Wait… now that you mention it, I did prepare the file. I just forgot to hit “send”!

Liam: What was the name of that Italian place we went to last month?
Nora: Hmm… the name escapes me. Was it “Bella Something”?
Liam: It’s on the tip of my tongue! Wait — it just dawned on me! It was Bella Roma!
Nora: That’s it! Their tiramisu was unforgettable.

Teacher: Emma, what’s the answer to question three?
Emma: I studied it yesterday, but I’m drawing a blank right now.
Teacher: Don’t worry. Let me refresh your memory — it’s related to the Industrial Revolution.
Emma: Oh, right! It’s coming to me now!

Marta: Honey, did you water the plants today?
Jack: Uh… for the life of me I can’t remember.
Marta: Typical. You only remember when they’re dying!
Jack: Come to think of it, I did water them this morning — before my coffee.
Marta: Miracles do happen.

Zoe: Do you remember where we parked the car?
Ben: It went in one ear and out the other when you told me.
Zoe: Great. Now we’ll never find it.
Ben: Wait — suddenly, it all came back to me! It’s near the bakery.
Zoe: Thank goodness your brain finally decided to cooperate!

OVER TO YOU

Create your own short dialogue and role play it in class.

part two

MEMORY GAME

Match the Polish translation with the English version of the expression. Make sure you complete this game under 30 seconds.

MATCHING HALVES

Match the two halves of the expressions of remembering and forgetting. 

REMEMBER VS FORGET

Now, organize the expressions into two categories: forgetting and remembering.

PARAPHRASE IT

Decide how else you could express the ideas in this exercise. Choose one option for each sentence from the drop down list.

If you get more than 60%, you will receive a beautiful certificate.


Let's practise the language of forgetting and remembering a bit more, shall we?

1.

"To help someone remember."

2.

"I am very close to remembering and saying something."

3.

"Right now I am remembering."

4.

"It is difficult for me to remember the name."

5.

"I'm trying very hard to remember, but it's not working."

6.

"I now remember!"

7.

"To forget to do something."


Well done! You're almost there!

8.

"My memory right now is failing me completely."

9.

"I would not have thought of it otherwise, but what you have just said has made me remember."

10.

"At first I did not remember, but after some more thought, now I do"

POLL

Answer the question in the poll.

Which expression for forgetting and remembering do you like the most?

CAST YOUR VOTE
×
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DISCUSSION

Dialogue: “A Battle of Memories”

Read or role play this dialogue between Alita and Pete.

Alita: Pete, do you remember what we were supposed to discuss in class today?

Pete: Uh… give me a second. It’s on the tip of my tongue… Oh no, I’m drawing a blank.

Alita: Again? You really need a bigger hard drive in your head.

Pete: Hey, it’s not my fault! It just… slipped my mind.

Alita: Right. Like the meeting last week, the homework, and your mother’s birthday?

Pete: Exactly! Wait… no, not exactly! Come to think of it, I did remember my mum’s birthday! I just forgot to call her.

Alita: That’s even worse, Pete.

Pete: The name of this topic… what was it again? “How to talk about…” something?

Alita: Forgetting and remembering!

Pete: Ah yes, the story of my life. The name escapes me half the time.

Alita: (laughing) Don’t worry. Can I refresh your memory? You were supposed to bring flashcards for this lesson.

Pete: Oh no! It completely slipped my mind!

Alita: Typical. But at least now you can remember how to forget in perfect English!

OVER TO YOU

Discuss the questions below.

CONTRIBUTE

Choose a question and share your views and experience below.

  • How can we improve our memory?
  • Why do we remember some stuff, but completely forget other things?
  • Have you ever forgotten anything important?
  • What’s your system of remembering important information?